Professional dry humping? There is a video on the internet which I think is pretty obviously a gag. But yes it is a thing – although very fringe.

Its popularity is not great and it is mostly unknown, most people think it’s a joke – not something someone would advertise and be paid for, let alone seek out! But the advertisements are out there on Craigslist and around the place. Whether the advertiser believed the Youtube video about the “alternative love” therapist and thought they’d cash in is debatable.

I confess, I had to Google what this actually was as I had never heard of it before as a service on offer. Hence, the discovery of the Youtube video everyone references. With only one primary source for this craze and only very few and far between hints at this being a new sub-industry of the sex/escort industry, I have a feeling that this is something the internet is trying to make happen.

I’m not sure if it will have more success than poor old Gretchen Weiners in Mean Girls trying to make “fetch” happen but if it does it could be a great thing for those who have secretly desired this or otherwise would never have known they did.

Let’s be real, dry humping does happen and it’s often unavoidable especially in that initial rush to congregate each other’s privates prior to the fiddly action of removing belts and trousers etc. Sometimes dry humping reveals itself as a gentle poke from behind by the “big spoon” to instigate something more than sleep. Not something people actually trying to sleep enjoy. However beyond that, dry humping is a phenomenon practiced in all its glory by the virginal or abstinent.

Professional dry humping though is something more than that, as one might be able to imagine with all fetishes or non-conventional desires, the attraction to certain things are not purely convenient or unavoidable, there’s an emotional or mental attachment. Dry humping as a service would cater for this particular demand. But exactly how much of a demand is there? Seriously, a lot of people out there don’t necessarily enjoy sex and a lot more people out there who have sex or lots of sex don’t enjoy it all that much. Just like how every escort has had that one (or several) client who just wants to talk or cuddle, why should people not want to be a bit more physical without going through with the potential pain or discomfort or general vulnerability often attached with intercourse?

Personally, I don’t think there is a problem with it at all and if marketed correctly and serviced with sensitivity I do see potential for it as a career.

Dry humping is different, though not entirely dissimilar, to non-penetrative sex. Dry humping is simply with clothes on whereas non-penetrative sex is more or less, and to give a heterosexual or male/male homosexual example, would be where a guy rubs and caresses their penis in and out of the ass-crack (for want of a better word, but c’mon that’s what it is) or inner thigh without insertion. Non-penetrative sex has its benefits and delayed gratification and subdued arousal leading to greater, longer and more pleasurable orgasms is but one.

Dry humping has its benefits too, while ejaculation or cumming can occur, as an option it’s unlikely and nor is it the best to achieve delayed climax. If that’s the intent there then I do suggest non-penetrative sex. But dry humping can be a great mid-way step to intercourse and can help a person develop and control a sex drive and know when and when not to give “it” away. It can also be a great means through which to familiarise yourself with your partner’s body and vice versa.

Furthermore, it is also a risk-free way to learn how to manoeuvre your partner’s body or yourself, on top or underneath, which can help avoid the awkwardness of being tangled and untangling and re-tangling as well as the head clunking, cramping and the dreaded falling off of the bed which can interrupt intercourse and be a buzz kill as well as embarrassing. Plus dry humping usually involves making out which is never a bad thing and is the best way to truly connect with each other.

 So if it’s your thing then I say go for it. It doesn’t make you a weirdo if you enjoy dry humping and it certainly doesn’t make you frigid. If you can find a partner to do it with who is accepting of your trepidations of intercourse then all the more power to you

 If you can find a career or employment in offering this service then fair enough.

Just please, please do not wear denim!

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